chi.mer.i.cal | 1. created by or as if by a wildly fanciful imagination; highly improbable
2. given to unrealistic fantasies; fanciful
cog.i.ta.tions |
1. thoughtful considerations; meditations
2. serious thoughts, carefully considered reflections
it's been a very disturbing day already, on several accounts.
first off, my wife was unable to sleep for most of last night. she recounted her suffering to me in the morning, genuinely traumatised. she had suffered from a visitation of calamitous portent, of stygian foreboding. a nighmare bringing her to a place so dark and devoid of hope that she woke up in cold sweat, and was too distressed to go back to bed for the remainder of the night. what phantasmagoric evil was this that had crept into our place of refuge and rest, visting you with such daemonic tidings in the night, i enquired. i dreamt that i had missed the ferragamo sale, she replied, voice trembling, almost in tears.
thankfully, she still retained enough function to make me my morning drink. no harm done, then.
i personally think that the nightmare was caused by her having to think too much the previous night. over dinner with my in-laws, we were comparing the relative merits of two yong tau fu stalls. my mother-in-law pointed out that stall B was the more expensive of the two, as it sold yong tau fu at 7 pieces for $3.50, as opposed to stall A, which sold yong tau fu at 3 pieces for $1. she expounded on her theory by opining that 50 cents per piece of yong tau fu was too high a price to pay.
my wife wrinkled up her face in concentration (she is very cute when she does that). you could see the cogs whirring away. then her face cleared in enlightenment and she chastised her mother. it didn't cost 50 cents per piece of yong tau fu at stall B. it cost $1.50. she laid out her reasoning as follows : since it cost $2 for 6 pieces at stall A, and $3.50 for 7 pieces at stall B, one piece of yong tau fu from stall B cost $1.50. elementary mathematics. she proclaimed. triumphantly. looking to me for backing. i nodded sagaciously, for one does not win an argument with my wife. besides, how does one even begin to contest such flawless logic?
secondly, i was sitting in my cubicle holding an innocuous conversation with one of my colleagues (who has threatened me with a fate worse than death if i mention his/her/its name), when this other colleague walks by. first colleague asks second colleague (let's call him the great fairy) how his medical appointment yesterday was. great fairy states that he had gone for penis reduction surgery as he had received too many complaints about the size of his tool. great fairy enthuses that woffles had done a fantastic job, and that his penis was looking exceedingly pretty. great fairy then offers to show us his reconstituted penis.
we hurriedly move on to the topic of how much the great fairy's doctor charges. third colleague, melvyn, passes by, overhearing only the great fairy's answer to our question ($220/hr). he makes an rapid about turn and enquires most excitedly if we are discussing prices for social escorts.
and its not even lunch time.
first off, my wife was unable to sleep for most of last night. she recounted her suffering to me in the morning, genuinely traumatised. she had suffered from a visitation of calamitous portent, of stygian foreboding. a nighmare bringing her to a place so dark and devoid of hope that she woke up in cold sweat, and was too distressed to go back to bed for the remainder of the night. what phantasmagoric evil was this that had crept into our place of refuge and rest, visting you with such daemonic tidings in the night, i enquired. i dreamt that i had missed the ferragamo sale, she replied, voice trembling, almost in tears.
thankfully, she still retained enough function to make me my morning drink. no harm done, then.
i personally think that the nightmare was caused by her having to think too much the previous night. over dinner with my in-laws, we were comparing the relative merits of two yong tau fu stalls. my mother-in-law pointed out that stall B was the more expensive of the two, as it sold yong tau fu at 7 pieces for $3.50, as opposed to stall A, which sold yong tau fu at 3 pieces for $1. she expounded on her theory by opining that 50 cents per piece of yong tau fu was too high a price to pay.
my wife wrinkled up her face in concentration (she is very cute when she does that). you could see the cogs whirring away. then her face cleared in enlightenment and she chastised her mother. it didn't cost 50 cents per piece of yong tau fu at stall B. it cost $1.50. she laid out her reasoning as follows : since it cost $2 for 6 pieces at stall A, and $3.50 for 7 pieces at stall B, one piece of yong tau fu from stall B cost $1.50. elementary mathematics. she proclaimed. triumphantly. looking to me for backing. i nodded sagaciously, for one does not win an argument with my wife. besides, how does one even begin to contest such flawless logic?
secondly, i was sitting in my cubicle holding an innocuous conversation with one of my colleagues (who has threatened me with a fate worse than death if i mention his/her/its name), when this other colleague walks by. first colleague asks second colleague (let's call him the great fairy) how his medical appointment yesterday was. great fairy states that he had gone for penis reduction surgery as he had received too many complaints about the size of his tool. great fairy enthuses that woffles had done a fantastic job, and that his penis was looking exceedingly pretty. great fairy then offers to show us his reconstituted penis.
we hurriedly move on to the topic of how much the great fairy's doctor charges. third colleague, melvyn, passes by, overhearing only the great fairy's answer to our question ($220/hr). he makes an rapid about turn and enquires most excitedly if we are discussing prices for social escorts.
and its not even lunch time.
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