i am blessed with numerous and varied talents. still, at times, i am not the brightest of sparks. thankfully, these moments are few and far between, and my erstwhile brilliance more than makes up for these fleeting instances of mortality.


yesterday, after work, i went to pick up a clock which i had brought back to the shop for repair. now, i bought this clock sometime in last may. it has graced its mantel in my apartment for a grand total of approximately three months. the rest of the time, it has stubbornly refused to work, and been in the shop. each time i bring it back, the owner tells me he'll have it working in a week or two; each time, it takes him about two and a half months to get it ready for collection.

if this was any other country in the world other than singapore, i'd have demanded a new clock. unfortunately, this is singapore, where the most fundamental of consumer rights do not exist - indeed, this is singapore, where not only store owners, but also fellow consumers, look at you strangely when you begin to even think about saying something other than "how much do i owe you?" moreover, i seem to have this incurable habit of going off on a tangent rather than just getting to the point.

back to the story. i told the lady who handed me the clock,

"it better be fixed. if i have to come back one more time, i'll cry."

which, with the benefit of hindsight, is not, perhaps, the most menacing ultimatum i could have come up with.

"yes, we hope we won't have to see you again."

was her reply. straight out of better consumer service for dummies.

"yes. i hope never to see you again in my life."

i agreed, emphatically. said with as much sincerity as anything i've ever articulated in my life. which they seemed to find uproariously amusing, for some reason. then i turned to leave, and out of force of habit, offered the parting words,

"bye, see you soon."

rather lame. it was a very long day at work.