an amusing incident occurred in court yesterday.

the courts i go to employ (and i use the term approximately, for the employment contract is not what one might term 'voluntary', and the employment benefits, not to mention salaries, are pegged somewhat below prevailing industry standards. the more cynical might even view it as forced servitude) little 18 year old boys as court clerks.

proceedings had just about ended for a particular accused yesterday. the judge was on the verge of pronouncing sentence. this particular court clerk, who, one might describe as a slightly excitable and eccentric individual, had been following proceedings very closely. he apparently realised that the judge had deviated from his usual procedure.

so just as the judge looked up to deliver the sentence upon the accused, the court clerk piped up in a loud and trilling voice, which riveted the whole court :

"i think you forgot something."

judge looked at clerk.

clerk : "you forgot to ask the accused if he has any special applications and objections to make." for the record, this question is usually asked before proceedings begin, and is a chance for the accused to make an application for say, an adjournment, so that his case would be heard another day. given that the accused had already pleaded guilty and had been convicted, this was obviously a rather moot point.

judge : "yes, it appears i have." pause "well then, we'd better do that shouldn't we."

clerk : "yes."

judge (to accused) : "accused, do you have any special applications to make?"

accused (utterly bewildered) : "no."

the judge turned and smiled avuncularly towards the clerk : "look, it seems as if the accused has no special applications to make."

clerk nods sagaciously

judge, turning back to the accused : "i hereby sentence you to three years and three months imprisonment, from today."

it took me all i had to keep from laughing out loud in open court. i don't think the accused's family would have appreciated it very much.