chimerical cogitations: bang her or leave her

chi.mer.i.cal | 1. created by or as if by a wildly fanciful imagination; highly improbable 2. given to unrealistic fantasies; fanciful cog.i.ta.tions | 1. thoughtful considerations; meditations 2. serious thoughts, carefully considered reflections

bang her or leave her

Published Monday, September 18, 2006 by jr | E-mail this post

i had a thought-provoking conversation with someone over lunch. actually, it was over tea - which in turn is not a strictly accurate description of the meal, for it involved kaya toast, fruit juice, mineral water, and not a drop of tea in sight.

but so, i was having a snack with a female friend and this individual. upon our female friend polishing off the last pieces of her kaya toast, this individual launched into his theory involving girls who finished their food.

it transpires that this individual despises girls who finish their food. such an act, according to him, smacks of a desire for instant gratification - a trait which, to him, is utterly becoming of a member of the fairer sex. i must add that while several aspects of his diatribe did possess some (and this is strictly a quantitative comparison) degree of merit, i am not entirely in agreement with him on this point. i can, personally, think of potential advantages in hanging out with a hot girl who is unable to control her desire for instant gratification.

to be scrupulously fair, however, this is probably an appropriate juncture at which to note that his theory was subject to a caveat - that none of his reasoning whatsoever applies to hot girls. for hot girls are hot, and whatever they do, they are still hot (and therefore desirable). examples of such inconsequential acts that do not vitiate their desirablility include, i quote, farting and shitting at the dining table. this again, is a point on which we must depart.

anyhow, to get back to the averagely-plain jane who wastes not. such a healthy appetite is indicative of numerous other failings. not only does she desire instant gratification, the collorary to that is that she is necessarily low class. by not showing restraint and resisting her hunger pangs, she embodies classless-ness. the example he gave went as follows : if he says something bad about someone, and i maintain my silence and don't say something else bad about that someone, i have shown restraint, while he has not. per curiam, i have shown that i am high class, while he is low class. my response to this was that i agreed with the outcome, while not necessarily the logical acuity of his reasoning.

anyhow. greedy girl is guilty of desiring instant gratification, and is not classy. also, she is likely to be fat. perhaps her biggest failing, however, is that her willingness to finish all her food even though she is already a non-hot female demonstrates that she lacks insecurity. and that, this individual emphatically proclaimed, is truly reprehensible. what use, after all, is a girl if she is not insecure, vulnerable, and wholly dependent on him to function?

subsequently, this individual informed our third companion that, naturally, none of this applied to her, as she fell into the hot girl category. he then offered her a lift home, an offer which she happily accepted. a happy ending, then.

which brings me to the reason i recounted this entire incident. for just this evening i stumbled across a page on the world wide web which i think provides the answer to that provcative and philosophical question of what one is to do with a girl that has the temerity to finish her food.